I sat tonight flipping through my journal Unstable thinking about how well the name of this journal fit this exact part of my life so well. With Visions of Gideon playing I come across a post from 8/11/2007. I’m annoyed, surprised and excited as I read the post at how I felt so much more back then. It’s not to say I don’t feel anymore, I do, but my feelings these days locked so deep I can only … That’s another story for another day as I’ll record for 5/7/19 in my current journal Grantline. Ok so were was I? Ah yes the post from 2007. I write…
“… or are we doomed to be like this for life? Me and him are always a breath away from true love. It’s like we stand on opposite sides of a car then run around it trying to get to one another yet we never do.”
This post got me thinking is it really the end for me and him this time? He’s moved away twice before and we found our way back to each other. It’s like I had my chance and for whatever reason I couldn’t figure out how to make it happen. Could be my problem be that I was trying to make it happen instead of relaxing and just letting it flow. I wonder if I have a control issue? Nah not me I’m chill and relaxed.
Though to feel this way again as deep as I did then would be nice maybe?
To close out this post I hope to do a Youtube video again soon and get back into the community. Perhaps i’ll just blog about things I find in old journals. I’ll leave you with the end of this post to give you a glimpse into just how dramatic I was.
I end with, ” Just let me lay here on the floor.”